Of Chocolate Hedgehogs and Grasshopper Pies

November 29, 2011

Hello, my Culinary Friends,

I have never been more famished. I sit here in my little studio holding on my lap your hundreds of recipes and letters, salivating over your family delights. All I have with me here to eat is an old can of cashews, Greek yogurt with early November’s expiration date, Nespresso coffee capsules, and bags of ice in the freezer. I believe I will go dig up a TV dinner and nuke it for my midnight dinner. Be right back.

OK, I’m back. This has been an illuminating, gratifying, deeply entertaining contest. Because I have received almost as many recipes as there are countries. Some countries were very well represented, such as Italy, and some woefully underrepresented, such as France.

But Malaysia yes
And Vietnam
The Netherlands
And Chile
And Germany Germany Germany
And New Mexico, thrice
Spain and Israel
Turkey and Australia
The Country of Man, which submitted four Man recipes.
And a voice from the great beyond: a woman named Maria Pavlova from St. Petersburg wrote to me with her recipe for Solyanka. My grandmother’s name was Maria Pavlova. She was from St. Petersburg. She made Solyanka all the time.

On my hungry lap I hold instructions for, among others,
empanadas and tapenades
Yorkshire Pud and Bread Pud
and Egyptian Milk Pud
Assam Laksa and Bratwurst
Chocolate Sausage!!!
Pizza (from scratch)
Stuffed cabbage with Moose Meat
Corn and Crawfish Stew
Grandma’s Pie and Almond Pie
And Lemon Meringue Pie
Nut Rolls and Beef Samosas
Casadiellas and Cucoli Fritti
Hot Fudge Cake and Borsht
Chocolate Muffins with Nutella inside; where are you, Nutella-loving Che, are you reading this and drooling?
Oliebollen and Aalsterse Vlai
Corn Souffle and College Drive-in!
Melting Moments and Chocolate Bundt Cake
Oatmeal Bake and Potato Bake
And let’s not forget Fire Crackers.

I wish I had two hundred books to give away.

Thank you all so much for enriching my life with your lives. You’ve given me a great gift, because now I’m going to make your concoctions all December, through New Years. From now on just call me Porky Pig.
I will have to walk through my door sideways.

I have written out your names on strips of paper, rolled them up and placed them in two Yankees baseball caps. I will now go and eat my cooled-down tofu with peas or whatever is waiting for me in the microwave, and pull out ten names and be right back.

Cue waiting music…


5 Responses to “Of Chocolate Hedgehogs and Grasshopper Pies”

  1. Annie Chantale says:

    I am so nervous, tonight during 2D Graphics class I was checking your blog Paullina every 5 minutes to see the results, I canĀ“t wait!!!!

    Greetings :D
    Annie Chantale

  2. Sarah Meadows says:

    Sounds like a fabulous recipe orgy! Please will you publish some of your website? Especially the Solyanka?

    • Paullina says:

      No not the Solyanka! Does anyone but Russians eat a soup like Solyanka, meat and pickles? All right, I’ll publish, but you’ve been warned.

  3. Monica says:

    Paullina you are so funny and sweet! But Tofu with peas… no, please. No after all the delicious food you’ve mentioned above :)
    Thank you to be so friendly with us. Have a nice time.